Newsletter Subscribe
Enter your email address below and subscribe to our newsletter
Enter your email address below and subscribe to our newsletter
What contributes to an individual’s emotional stability, you may wonder? Well, we all go through occasional shifts in mood from time to time. However, there are certain individuals who exhibit remarkable confidence and resilience in the face of challenging emotions and mood swings.
A major reason why people become overwhelmed by their emotions is that they give them excessive significance.
Consider this scenario:
This creates a vicious cycle! And it all originates from the initial assumption that your emotional state held significant importance… which triggered worry… which ultimately intensified anxiety.
Let’s be honest, feeling a little anxious before a meeting is no big deal! Anxiety doesn’t always carry profound meaning. However, assuming that it does and attaching undue significance to it leads to worry, which in turn intensifies anxiety.
To presume that emotions are always meaningful and important sets the stage for suffering and emotional instability.
Emotionally stable individuals are just as likely to regard their emotions as random or insignificant as they are to consider them as signs or subjects requiring deep analysis and comprehension.
Our culture often romanticises and glorifies emotions as mystical experiences laden with profound meaning and significance. Yet, in reality, emotions are merely one of the many functions of our bodies—sometimes distressing, sometimes pleasurable; sometimes beneficial, sometimes not.
Just because emotions can be meaningful on certain occasions does not warrant the assumption that they always are.
Stay mindful of your emotions. Acknowledge them. Validate them. And if the situation demands it, contemplate it or take appropriate action.
But never blindly trust them.
“Feelings are something you possess, not something you are.”
― Shannon L. Alder
Let’s face it, being emotionally vulnerable can be daunting…
However, many things in life are arduous:
Life presents us with numerous challenges that compel us to step out of our comfort zones, regardless of the discomfort they may elicit. The underlying rationale is simple: Enduring present difficulties often leads to future rewards.
Likewise, this principle applies to our emotions. If you aspire to experience long-term emotional well-being, you must be willing to tolerate short-term emotional discomfort.
Emotional stability arises from emotional confidence—a conviction that experiencing unpleasant emotions does not imply their inherent negativity or necessitate immediate eradication.
So, how does one cultivate emotional confidence?
By embracing emotional vulnerability—acknowledging, experiencing, and openly expressing emotions rather than attempting to suppress or distract oneself from them.
A simple technique to initiate this journey towards emotional vulnerability (and eventually enhanced emotional confidence and stability) is to practice using I Feel Statements to articulate your emotional state:
Summon the courage to embrace vulnerability in your emotional expression, and the confidence to navigate your emotions will naturally follow suit.
“Anything you wholeheartedly accept will guide you towards peace. That is the miracle of surrender.”
― Eckhart Tolle
Allow me to share an obvious yet often overlooked realization:
Handling difficult emotions becomes significantly more challenging when you are under stress.
Reading this statement in plain terms may seem blatantly obvious. However, I frequently encounter individuals who struggle to manage their emotions effectively, attributing their difficulties solely to their perceived inadequacies in handling such emotions.
In reality, the underlying issue lies in their difficulty managing emotions while grappling with an overwhelming amount of stress—an experience common to every individual on this planet!
On the other hand, you would be astounded by your innate capacity to navigate challenging emotions successfully when stress levels are kept in check.
Consequently, a key secret of emotionally stable individuals lies in their ability to effectively control stress levels.
But how do they accomplish this? Are they experts in stress management? Not quite. In fact, they steer clear of stress management because they intuitively comprehend one crucial distinction:
It is better to proactively manage stressors before they escalate into stress.
Once you are overwhelmed by stress, eliminating it becomes an arduous task. Despite employing an array of coping mechanisms and relaxation strategies, the stress often persists until it naturally subsides.
If you continuously fixate on managing stress itself, you will inevitably allocate less time and energy towards understanding the origins and causes of your stress—the stressors.
Emotional stability arises from effective stress management. However, the most effective form of stress management entails prioritizing the management of stressors rather than fixating on stress itself.
Imagine having a bullet lodged in your chest. No matter how many bandages you apply throughout the night, the bleeding will persist until you address the underlying cause—the foreign object piercing your body and puncturing a blood vessel.
Treat the cause, not just the symptom. Manage your stressors, not merely your stress.
How, then, does effective stressor management manifest?
A valid question indeed, and one that we shall explore in our final point below 👇
In essence, managing your stressors revolves around establishing healthy boundaries.
Consider the following scenario:
If we trace this predicament back to its roots:
So, what would it look like to set healthy boundaries in this case?
Well, it would likely involve putting a stop to your distracting coworker consuming a significant portion of your time!
Easier said than done, right? Undoubtedly. Nevertheless, it remains an imperative course of action.
In my experience, two fundamental concepts prove vital in the pursuit of setting healthy boundaries:
Ultimately, your ability to manage difficult moods and emotions extends beyond internal contemplation—external influences shape our emotional experiences.
Consequently, if you aspire to bolster your emotional stability, it is crucial to acquire effective skills in managing the stressors and individuals within your environment. In most cases, this entails establishing and upholding healthy boundaries.
“If people persistently trample upon you, don a pointed hat.”
― Joyce Rachelle
To cultivate greater emotional stability, consider integrating the following habits into your life:
In conclusion, emotional stability is attainable by cultivating a few key habits. Firstly, being skeptical of our emotions can prevent us from getting overwhelmed by them. Recognizing that emotions are not always indicative of something significant allows us to maintain a more balanced perspective. Secondly, embracing vulnerability with our emotions is essential for developing emotional confidence. Rather than trying to avoid or suppress negative emotions, it is important to acknowledge and express them in a healthy way. Thirdly, focusing on managing stressors rather than stress itself can lead to greater emotional stability. By addressing the root causes of stress, we can prevent it from escalating and affecting our emotional well-being. Lastly, setting healthy boundaries is crucial for maintaining emotional stability. Learning to communicate assertively and enforcing boundaries when they are violated promotes self-respect and reduces emotional stress. By incorporating these habits into our lives, we can enhance our emotional strength and resilience, leading to greater stability and well-being.